Thursday 28 January 2010

I love another, and thus I hate myself

LOOK AT HER


LOOK AT MY FUTURE WIFE

(she is all I can think about)
(I finished TEDTWOF and now my life is over)

Thursday 21 January 2010

The point of this song would have to be so long

My humours are EXTREMELY imbalanced; it feels at the moment like I am spending most of my time ejecting phlegm from my body, and it's horrible. Corin tried to convince me that actually it was cool 'because you get to look at your phlegm after you've coughed it up' but, frankly, I don't think that makes my situation okay. On the plus side, I am also spending a lot of time reading The Essential Dykes To Watch Out For, which she got me for Christmas, and watching True Blood (I recently bought a subscription to Megavideo premium and, without wanting to sound like I'm practising product placement, I don't really understand how I used to survive without it?). Naturally, in spite of examgate being over, I have a shitload of things to do that I am not doing. Mostly I try to justify it by telling myself I'm too ill to pen an impressive CV or make a start on this semester's reading list or work on emotionally-draining emails. Which, to be fair, might be salient? Possibly? Just a bit?

In Other News, I'm grumpy about Herbal Essences. Despite resisting buying any of their products for some time because apparently they test on animals (even though the shampoo I was using instead was made by Dove who also apparently test on animals - I am a shit vegetarian and even worse human being) and also because I'm wary of any overwhelming product smells becoming affixed to the way in which people around me experience my presence, I was shopping the other day (read: throwing all my money away in a soulless bid to compensate for the massive stretch of time since the last time I 'went shopping') and saw some that was specifically for curly hair and decided on an impulse that this would definitely be a good thing for me to invest in. Having felt a bit uneasy about it every time I go for a slash and am confronted by the frankly gargantuan purple tubs slumped on the edge of the bath, things came to a head this morning when I decided to read them. Error. HE had chosen for their consumers' intellectual stimulation to comment on the MASSIVE DIFFERENCE between men and women; today I discovered that, not only do women, when in the bathroom, spend far more time than men washing their hands, but also that the average groom is 5.3 years older than the average bride. I'm aware that my recent overdose of DTWOF may have prompted me to be more neurotic about world issues etc, but wtf? Seriously, everyone. Forcing expectations of heteronormative practice much. What is WRONG with people? Imagine the board meeting in which suggestions for these 'fun facts' were invited. Do they think, perhaps, that if the 'difference' between men and women is exaggerated enough, then we're less likely to mind the cavernous gap between the rights that we can expect to enjoy? Or the inadequacies of assuming a gender binary? UGH. I hate that this shit is read as normal by most people. On Monday, I went to see Men, which was, by and large, the greatest experience of my recent life (amazing queerfun danceparty lifeaffirming omg, plus I *met* JD Samson omger). However, it was slightly marred by the fact that not everyone around me was not a twat; I became distracted by this guy behind me and his friend who repeatedly asked each other 'is that a man or a girl?' about JD. I turned around and told them she identified as a woman, to which they responded with 'OH, it's a GIRL'. I said, 'no, SHE'S a WOMAN', and they looked confused and nonplussed by my vehemence, and I decided it was not the best time to launch into knowingly-futile-attempt-at-education mode, so turned back to the AMAZING ONSTAGE SPECTACLE and tried not to let myself be more angry than inspired. Later on in the set, a woman leant over to the men behind me and squealed, 'I just found out that's a woman!', and they were like 'I KNOW!', and I just wanted to die/punch everyone. Why is it so important to be able to place people? Why can't people take anything that even slightly bucks their perceptions of gender normality? Why does there have to be a gender normality? Why don't people consider listening to accounts of gender that differ from what they're comfortable with? Why do people have to put up with this shit? It's a horrible way to have to live.

Monday 11 January 2010

I am obviously meant to be revising, but

Today I discovered that, in the seventeenth-century, 'hell' was slang for 'vagina'.